A few weeks ago, fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana made some pretty controversial comments. In addition to opposing same-sex marriage, they also made critical comments about IVF, suggesting the procedure and other forms of fertility treatments created “synthetic babies.” While this blog has been a great outlet for me to share my ideas on fashion, food, fitness, parenthood, and more, I have tried to keep it free of any bigger picture discussions about politics or social issues. Until now.
IVF, and fertility treatments in general, are something that strike incredibly close to home for me, and for Ken. Without fertility treatments, we wouldn’t have any children. IVF gave me (us) the two most important gifts in our life. So Dolce and Gabbana… your comments were more than a little offensive and hurtful.
Ken and I first started trying to have kids in the Spring of 2008. As I hadn’t had a regular cycle in years, I was already skeptical of my ability to get pregnant. On a startling phone call from my OBGYN, I was told that if I wanted to have children, I immediately needed to see a specialist. And so seconds later, I placed the call.
Ken and I think of our fertility doctor at Cornell Medical Center as one of the most important people in our lives. While the process with both kids was beyond brutal (Cruz- 2 failed rounds of clomid and 5 failed IUIs involving all the injectables and shots before success… . Zoe- 2 failed IUIs, 4 failed IVFs before success… this should be another blog post!), the end result was magical. He helped us create life. And without his help, we would not have children. Our joy, our pride, our life.
It’s easier for people to tell other people how they should act than to imagine the circumstances under which they make their choices. It’s easier for men to tell women what is right and wrong when it comes to their bodies than seeking to understand an alternate point of view… it’s easier for Dolce and Gabbana to tell the world that IVFs shouldn’t exist than to consider a heart-wrenching struggle to become a complete family. It’s also a sign of shortsightedness, and a prime example of only viewing the world through your own eyes. I’m fighting to not take the easier route here myself but to try to empathize with what led to their judgement. I’m finding it impossible but will continue to try because better understanding opposing views is better than dismissing them out of hand, which is what I believe they are doing.
For now, I only say: Dolce and Gabbana… this is my family. I’m quite sure these children, and our family, have done more good to the world than harm. And there are countless other families around the world who can say the same. So, to fertility treatments, I say “THANK YOU” for giving the world bigger, happier energy, and helping complete countless families around the world.
And to Dolce and Gabbana, next time, please think before you speak.